jestar's musings

art

2011-10-17T16:49:00.001+11:00

Let me introduce the other love of mine: papercrafting. I have another blog called 'paper jestar' which you can check out here.

Although it may seem totally different to writing, I find papercrafting very complementary. Perhaps because it fuels that creativity in me which also gives me the same joy and focus and confidence that writing gives me, but because it is a lot easier and more 'relaxing', each card I make is instant gratification and that sense of accomplishment pours into my writing. In short, each love inspires and encourages the other. Does that make any sense?

I absolutely love this video showcasing the fabulous Amy Tangerine and her DIY mini book. The song is called 'Art' by Tanya Davis. The lyrics encapsulate what I muse about too.

Art I want you.

I wondered what would be the worth of my words in the world
if i write them and then recite them are they worth being heard
just because i like them does that mean i should mic them
and see what might unfurl

i think of the significance of my opinions here
is it significant to be giving them does anybody care
just because i'm into this does that mean i should live like it
and really do i dare

art, art i want you
art you make it pretty hard not to
and my heart is trying hard here to follow you
but i can't always tell if i ought to

so i pondered the point of my art in this life
if i make it will someone take it and think it's genuine
will they be glad that i did 'cause they got something good out of it
will they leave me and be any more inspired

i question the outcome of the outpouring of myself
if i tell everyone my stories will this keep me healthy and well
will it give me purpose, to this world some sort of service
is it worth it, how can i tell

art, art...

habit

2011-10-07T10:10:00.001+11:00

Wow, it's been a long time since I wrote here. I guess I've been a bit afraid to. Writing has been starting and stopping so much for me due to an unpredictable and often busy and chaotic schedule. The renovations are finally over though and I have nestled back into writing early in the morning. I give myself an average of about an hour and make sure I write at least 300 words of good, final draft quality. They say it takes 21 days to form a habit, and here I am on day 2 and doing quite well. Of course I still come to the screen, very nervous and afraid I'm going to fail, but as the words come, and I tap away at the keyboard, the story flows before me, and I have nothing to be afraid of anymore.

The simplest advice I can give is: Just do it. Just write and believe in yourself, your story, characters and writing ability. I think it takes a lot of confidence and faith to write, but you have to actually write first. The longer you stay away and procrastinate, the higher the page looms and fear grows. So here I am writing and it's not as huge and scary as I imagined.

dollhouse

2011-04-14T19:31:00.010+10:00

If I could sum up my style it would be classic and cute with a dash of whimsy. These are the things that attract me in life.

I was browsing Yogee toys, I wanted to find more Plan Toys products for my boys after getting them this gorgeous Plan City Road & Rail Station set for Christmas - isn't it cool how you can pack it all away neatly in the station?

Then I came across Plan Toys' dollhouses and it was love at first sight. I asked my son: 'Do you want this dollhouse?' It was no surprise that his eyes glazed over and he said: 'No, I want the truck', which turned out to be the shipping icon. I was all like: 'Are you sure? Isn't it cute?' But no, he insisted on the shipping icon. These are the times I wish I had a daughter ;) So I thought, what the hell, mummy will get it for herself instead.

I ordered 'My First Dollhouse' (more like my 6th one!)

How classic and gorgeous is it?? I am so in love! It has all these open spaces so it's easy to get into the rooms (for kids of course) but I'm loving all the natural light that will pour through when I take photos of my toys in it and create my dioramas!

I bought the basement as well. It's a cool little room box on its own :D

I am such a sucker for dolls houses and miniatures. It is a lifetime obsession. Even today as I thought of my novel's Chapter 26, I was planning a dollhouse scene complete with furniture and accessories! Well, a grisly kitchen scene in miniature scale as I'm kinda writing a horror at this stage. Yes, miniatures will feature in my novel and yes, I'll never grow up ;)

write

2011-04-13T22:41:00.000+10:00

When you write early in the morning, it is good to actually know what you're going to write about. Planning the day or night before makes things easier. Unfortunately, organised as I am, I have been neglecting this. I still managed to write 700+ words in 30 minutes though. I had enough images and scenes in my head to latch onto. It was a rough draft but reading it later, there were good things to pick up and make a clean trail through the wild.

This is what you must do. Even if you don't have a plan, just write. You might think it garbage when in fact it's great compost for ideas to take root and grow.

katie

2011-04-11T21:44:00.001+10:00

They're not the main character. They're barely in the story. But for the few minutes of screen time they possess, they capture you with their charm.

This is my little ode to those characters starting with Katie from Horton Hears a Who. She has the best sigh ever. If only we could eat rainbows and poop butterflies.

We love you, Katie! You quirky yellow thing!

life

2011-03-27T14:48:00.000+11:00

Check out my spankin' new blog look! I am lovin' it :D Nothing like a pretty background to inspire some writing ;)

It's been so long since I last wrote, but life has been chaotic and stressful. Between the boys and renovations, it has been one disruption after the next and my early mornings for writing have been mostly sabotaged. It's been really hard and I have been run down and sick a lot of the time.

I did consider trying to write at night but by the time the boys are in bed, I am good for nothing and soon go to bed myself after falling asleep in front of the TV or dropping the book I'm reading!

So I'm back to my early mornings where I can squeeze in an average of 30-60 minutes of writing if I'm lucky. Sadly those 250 words 6 days a week haven't been happening (I am still an exceptionally slow writer). Therefore I have tried to be a bit more realistic about my goals given my current situation and told my teacher that the deal is changing to a full chapter (approx 2000 words) every 2-3 weeks instead of half a chapter (approx 1000 words) a week.

That's all numbers though. I try not to despair over it. Try not to feel like a failure because I'm not making the word count each day. Instead, I do what I can. Today I brought my current chapter 25 to the halfway mark. Feels awesome!

I still believe that you should write as regularly as you can. If you leave writing on the shelf for too long, it becomes harder to get into, just like a muscle that becomes slack without exercise.

So write regularly, make time for it. Life will get in the way, but when it does, don't give up. Just keep writing! Remember, every word counts.

fulfillment

2011-02-06T09:03:00.001+11:00

I'm a shy person, sometimes so shy that people mistake my quietness for snobbery. I've never been the best communicator in terms of speaking. But my writing on the other hand, that's where the words flow.

As a writer, there is nothing more fulfilling or makes me feel happier than writing. I wrote another 800 words today, 326 of final draft quality :) I've been writing everyday since I started this plan, except for last Sunday when I usually rest :)

At the beginning of a writing session, I shut my perfectionist self out and write with abandon. I say all I need to say in rough form, then let my perfectionist self back in and chisel away. I am always amazed by the words and scenes that come forth as I write. For a long time, I felt unprepared and lost with the story I wanted to tell, but you have to have faith in your ideas. Each word will carry you forward.

Jestar x

insecurity

2011-02-03T19:28:00.001+11:00

Insecurity is a feeling of general unease or nervousness that may be triggered by perceiving of oneself to be unloved, inadequate or worthless (whether in a rational or irrational manner).

- Wikipedia

It's my dark passenger that never leaves.

Jestar x

small

2011-02-02T08:34:00.001+11:00

I am on day 5 of my writing plan. 250 words a day, 6 days a week, and I'm going really well. So far, I've written 1277 words of final draft quality. I've written over 2000 words of first draft. But the perfectionist in me likes to write her best before she's comfortable to move on so I'll stick with the wordcount of 1277 ;)

It isn't easy waking when it's still dark, tiptoeing past the kids' bedroom and making sure you don't fall down the stairs (with the aid of your iphone light), sitting at your desk and writing those words. As I'm sure you've heard before: If writing is important to you, you should consider it a responsibility, a job and therefore, you get to your desk and you do it.

Of course, that's easier said than done. Writing a novel is overwhelming. You have such a huge story within you, how do you get it all out? In small chunks I say. That is why I came up with this goal of at least 250 words a day. That might not sound like much, but those words add up and in a writing week (6 days in my case) you have 1500 words. You'll be surprised how many words you can write in 5 minutes alone.

A story, a novel, is made up of words. Write one word at a time. They become little stepping stones and become a sentence. The sentence becomes a paragraph. That paragraph becomes two, three.

Start small and that heavy story in you becomes so much lighter to bear.

Jestar x

deal

2011-01-25T19:27:00.005+11:00

So I tried the 1000 words a day, and the morning schedule with a block of 2 hours for writing, but when you have boys aged 2 & 3 who also insist on waking in the night an hour before your wake up time and you're also in the midst of major renovations and extensions, you're pretty much doomed to fail.

I know disruptions in life are inevitable, that we should write no matter what, but kids + renovations = major energy drain and that goal of 1000 words a day just wasn't happening for me. I had the time, I just didn't have the energy or focus.

So I've come up with another plan. My teacher made a deal with me. I give him half a chapter every week and he'd feedback on it. I thought OK, an average chapter is usually 3000 words. Half a chapter is 1500 words. I give myself one day a week to rest (or more likely screw up and not write anything) which leaves me writing 6 days a week. All I have to do is write 250 words a day.

I know it's easy to do the math, break up a mammoth into bite size chunks, but I'm seriously considering it and it looks good.

I should be able to do this. I'll let you know how I go :)

Jestar x

P.S. Hopefully I'll blog more regularly too!

shut

2010-12-03T20:14:00.000+11:00

My pages are tightly shut, but once in a while, I'll let you see a page or two. This is usually with the magic words: 'How are you?' On rare occasions I'll show you my moments both joyous and dark, spread across those pages, without you even asking. So you can imagine how much it hurts when I do that and don't get a response. I snap shut. Never to speak again. But what pisses me off is that I forget my vows of silence and let the words fall.

You're not the only one in pain.

smiles

2010-08-16T08:20:00.000+10:00

A very happy day to you! :)

Jestar x

tortoise

2010-08-14T07:53:00.009+10:00

The biggest nightmares I've ever had are running away from something. Most of the time I'd get away, but sometimes I didn't. I remember this dream about a game with huge monsters where if they caught you, you'd surely die, crushed between their gnarly palms. It was a sickening feeling and when I woke with a start, just as the monster scooped me up, I thought I was dead.

Life at the moment feels like I'm running away from something. Time. Time is catching up with me, I can feel its hot breath on my heels and before I know it, it's going to pounce on me, pin me to the ground and scream: TIMES UP!

I shouldn't feel that way, but I do. Novel class is nearly over for the year and I have only managed five chapters of my novel so far. It is truly disappointing and I feel like a failure. I still wake early every morning but lately my writing world has been squashed with other concerns that I just can't shake - being sick and injured, the boys, upcoming renovations/extensions, being a single parent for a fortnight while hubby is away and I collapse in an exhausted heap and end up surfing the net, the biggest black hole of time.

I try not to be too hard on myself. Other mums ask me how I manage to write anything with the boys and all the other stuff I have to deal with and it makes feel a little better, I guess...

Writing is a double-edged sword for me. It's like blood from a stone but so fulfilling and euphoric when that blood settles and forms those stories I dream in concrete.

I have to remember although I'm not writing everyday, I'm writing when I can and I'm proud of what I have written. I will learn to focus fully, forget the internet and write in the little pockets of time that are given to me.

This tortoise might not win the race against the hare, but she'll keep on plodding on with her novel and eventually get there, I promise.

Jestar x

P.S Tortoise also promise to blog more regularly too :)

silence

2010-08-08T06:37:00.001+10:00

Some things never change...

In a castle of my own

I danced in hallways

Wandered rooms

Silence was my listener,

Nodded to my song

Smiled in his tears

Life has always been this way

A song in silence

Nobody has really heard me sing as I truly am.

I have always listened to your song

Smiled softly

Never interfering

Maybe I thought you could do the same

In a trembling beginning

Now dead and lost with all hope it ever had

Back to the castle

A dance to a heart felt song

The sun is dying

Silence is my companion again

I sit in a throne full of flowers

And silence smiles and bows his head.

remembered

2010-07-17T07:18:00.003+10:00

The Toy Story trilogy is one of my favourite film trilogies ever. I saw Toy Story 3 and seriously bawled at the end, it was so bittersweet. One of my friends doesn't like the series because it's about toys...and yes, it's about toys and I LOVE toys, but it is so much more than that. At its heart are the universal themes of being accepted, loved and remembered. Something that is important in all of our lives.

In Toy Story 2 there is a scene with Jessie, the cowgirl doll, who tells a story about how she was loved and then forgotten and abandoned. When I first saw it, it broke my heart and whenever I watch it now, I still cry, because I feel like her...I mean, who doesn't? I'm sure that there have been times in our lives when somebody important has outgrown us, left us...When I see that scene I remember the last best friend who dumped and abandoned me and a close friend recently who did the same when I became a mother and needed her more than ever.

My novel teacher is always talking about subtext in stories. It's taken time to figure out what my novel's subtext is, but as I write, I realise what my story is about. It's about being lost and forgotten, wanting to be found and ultimately to be remembered.

Jestar x

when somebody loved me
everything was beautiful
every hour we spent together
lives within my heart

and when she was sad
i was there to dry her tears
and when she was happy so was i
when she loved me

through the summer and the fall
we had each other that was all
just she and i together like it was meant to be

and when she was lonely
i was there to comfort her
and i knew that she loved me

so the years went by
i stayed the same
but she began to drift away
i was left alone
but still i waited for the day
when she'd say i will always love you

lonely and forgotten
i never thought she'd look my way
when she smiled at me
and held me
just like she used to do
like she loved me
when she loved me

when somebody loved me
everything was beautiful
every hour we spent together
lives within my heart
when she loved me

habit

2010-06-20T20:33:00.004+10:00

So it's been a week since I started my early morning writing schedule. My body quickly adjusted to waking at 4.45am to the point where I automatically wake at 4.42am without an alarm!

Not quite making the 1000 word quota mainly because I have to hand in chapters to my teacher and fellow writers so only what I consider my best will do which feels close to final draft. However, in time I will learn to focus and write more in the 2.5 hours allotted to me instead of researching something on the net and continuing to surf the wave for another few minutes...you know how it goes! ;)

I try not to focus on the wordcount but rejoice in the words I have written be it 500 or 800 or 1000. One morning I only managed 200 but I was very happy with what I wrote. Every journey begins with a single step and so does a novel begin with a single word. I'll keep on laying down the words and eventually get to THE END.

What's important is that I'm attending these writing appointments 6 days a week and writing so regularly that it is becoming a habit. Dare I say that on my one day off today, I had a bit of withdrawal? ;)

Happy writing, people, whether you write 200 words or a 1000. You're writing, that's the main thing! :)

Jestar x

zabka

2010-06-16T19:01:00.000+10:00

If I asked you who William Zabka was you probably wouldn't have a clue, but if I told you he played the bully, Johnny Lawrence in the film The Karate Kid. You'd know exactly who I'm talking about ;)

I just watched The Karate Kid. It's one of my favourite 80s films. So after the always stirring and satisfying ending, I wondered about William Zabka and what he got up to after being craned on The Karate Kid. I'd seen him in other 80s films and he seemed typecast to play the bully like in Just One of the Guys, another one of my 80s favourites.

Then I found this music video that Zabka directed and starred in. It's called Sweep the Leg by No More Kings. Zabka parodies himself living in a trailer and obsessed with his role on The Karate Kid. It's hilarious and also has a cameo by Ralph Macchio, the Karate Kid himself.

Maybe you've seen it, I had no idea about it. In any case, enjoy :)

Jestar x

1000

2010-06-13T14:55:00.003+10:00

I started a day early and scheduled 2.5 hours for writing this morning starting around 11am (I start my 5.30am schedule tomorrow). I wrote 1000 words in 45 minutes and then started painstakingly re-writing to my 'perfection'. As expected this re-write took longer and so far I have only re-written 500 words and that took just over 2 hours.

I am determined to stick to my 2.5 hours allotment of time though. I will learn to stay more focused and today, it wasn't easy as I was distracted a lot by my boys needing attention and all the noise which makes my early morning schedule even more necessary.

I am happy with my 1000 words though and 500 words of that re-written to the standard I'd be happy for people to read.

Getting there! ;)

Jestar x

schedule

2010-06-11T14:34:00.006+10:00

If you know me or have been reading this blog, I am a huge Stephen King fan. He is one of the writers I look up to, my 'writing mentor'. Every so often I'll read his book: On Writing, one of the best books about writing out there. Lately I have been interested in writing schedules.

King's schedule is clear-cut. Every morning he'll write 2,000 words. This way he can finish the first draft of an 180,000 novel in 3 months. Afternoons are for naps and letters. Nights are for reading, family and any revision that can't wait.

I am not a morning person, but I see the advantages of writing in the early morning. The kids are still sleeping, I have the most energy and writing first thing defeats procrastination. As the day goes by I find I get more and more exhausted (kids will do that to you) and by the time the boys have gone to bed, I literally collapse. I have been trying to write from about 8.30pm but when I do, which isn't very regular because I'm so tired, I find I can't go on after 10pm, my mind has become mush.

So I've decided to give this early morning writing schedule a go. My plan is to wake up at 5am, have my breakfast and shower and when 5.30am swings around, it's time to start writing for 2.5 hours and get at least 1,000 words of good quality written. My toddlers will generally wake about 7.30am, but can wait up to one hour for me which is nice.

If I can do this at least 6 days a week, I'll rack up 90,000 words by October to add to my already 37,000 words. I may even finish my novel this year?

I'll have no problems sleeping earlier — I could sleep the same time as the boys I'm that gone — but I'm going to find it hard waking up at 5am, 3 hours earlier than I usually do. For a while I'll be blearily staring at the screen still wrapped up in a cocoon of sleep and dreams, but I think once I settle into this schedule starting next week, it's going to pay off.

One thing I'm looking forward to is guilt-free nights, knowing that my writing has been done and being able to relax after a busy day with the kids. I'm already daydreaming about lots of reading (King says writers should read at least 4 hours a day), playing games, watching films & series, spending time with my other half and going out or having friends over at night.

And hey, I'll be catching those sunrises :)

Wish me luck! I'll keep you posted...;)

Jestar x

If you're interested in writing in the morning, then check out this helpful article: Create a Morning Writing Ritual

winner

2010-04-17T14:09:00.000+10:00

Thank you to those who stopped by my blog and took the time to comment and share about the best present/s they've received. Very appreciated. It's also nice to know that I've given some good ones! ;)

Congrats to the winner: green like the colour who'll be receiving Treeson's little present soon :)
Here is her comment about the best present she has ever received:

Perhaps the best loved present I received was when I was six years old, my mum's cousin, Caroline bought me the book, "Now I am Six!" by A.A. Milne. I still have the book, although the cover is in tatters and coming off. I loved the book at the time and would read my favourite poems from it over and over again, and I don't really remember this, but my mum tells me that the year before, when I was in prep, I wouldn't speak to anybody at school except my brother and sister. I was shy, but everyone thought I was stupid and couldn't read. My birthday was during the holidays between prep and grade one, and on my first week during grade one, for show and tell I took this book and read out my favourite poem from it to the class full of confidence and with expert skill. From what my teacher told my mother afterwards, the whole class sat there with their jaws wide open, the teacher included, because they had all assumed I couldn't read.

I still love the book but I like different poems from it than I did when I was six, appreciating them in ways I wasn't capable of at six years old. I could also remember most of the poem at the very end, "Now I am six" almost off by heart when I was sixteen (with one or two words changed), even though I hadn't read it since I was about nine at the time. (And I remember writing new lines when I turned seven and eight.) It was a real joy when I discovered the book again when I was older and appreciating it all over again.

presents

2010-04-09T13:01:00.016+10:00

Who doesn't love receiving presents? The best presents are the ones that are unexpected. I have been gradually accumulating a little pile of gifts for my family and close friends just to let them know how much I love and appreciate the person they are to me...Soon, I'll wrap and give them! I'm excited! They should be too ;)

Would you like a present? Almond baby Treeson wants to give you one - he's holding something OOAK (one of a kind), miniature, sweet and whimsical that I wrapped with Japanese masking tape, my latest obsession :D

This little giveaway is open to everyone including my family and close friends - yes you guys might end up with another present! Yay! But mainly because I don't think anyone else reads my blog ;) All you have to do is:

1. Become a follower of my blog, or add me to your blog list

2. Comment on any one of my posts

3. Comment on this post and tell me about the best present you ever received and why...

I will give this present to the person who best answers no.3. This giveaway closes on Friday, April 16. I will post the winning comment on my blog Saturday, April 17. Also, unless I know you personally, please add your email address to the comment so I can contact you if you should win!

I hope this post inspires you to give your own presents to the special people in your life, not because it's their birthday, or it's Easter, Christmas or any other holiday - but just because you love them! :D

I look forward to hearing from you...:)

Jestar x

happy easter

2010-04-04T13:43:00.001+10:00

❀ ✫

To brand new beginnings everyday...

Happy Easter! :)

Jestar x

derelict

2010-04-04T12:11:00.004+10:00

✿

There are so many gifted artists out there who are wasting their talents by not practicing it, what I call an 'artistic derelict', a term used by my novel teacher that has stuck with me ever since.

I refuse to be one. Life is busy looking after my two boys and by the time they're in bed and my 12 hour+ day with them is over, I become a mindless, shambling zombie who pointlessly surfs the net or soaks up some TV like a sponge. But I'm slowly getting over that and I'm working some stamina into this brain and writing even though I'm tired and can't be stuffed because I need to write. If you're truly a writer, or any artist, you will practice your craft no matter what because it completes you as a person. Without it you feel lost and unfulfilled. I do, anyway.

Not to say that it's easy. Writing is damn hard and lonely too and not everyone understands the process, but stick with it. The rewards are great.

I challenge you artists out there whether you're into writing, drawing, dancing, singing, photography, crafting...Whatever art you've got in you, do it. NOW.

Jestar x

*goes to work on her novel*

dreams

2010-03-26T00:02:00.002+11:00

Balloon Dreams and Reflections...

Nitenite,

Jestar x

outline

2010-03-21T23:26:00.001+11:00

I completed my novel outline tonight. It's an uneven mix of detailed, sketchy and vague, but it works for me. The only reason I wrote it was for myself in the event I should get stuck, at least it will guide me in the general direction.

But what an effort it is to think of an epic story in its entirety - about 48 chapters. I feel like I've been fast-forwarding the past few days and the story, although exciting to discover, feels artificial somehow. Writing to me is like being in a car on a foggy night. My headlights only see a few feet in front of me and thus I only see the story, as I drive, or write. I like what Stephen King says. He doesn't believe in plots or outlines. He puts his characters in 'What if?' situations and it is his job to help them out of those situations. King approaches his story as the first reader and because he is discovering the story as he writes, his writing remains fresh and excited as he finds out what happens next. He feels that stories are like fossils in the ground that must be meticulously excavated with the tools of writing. When you do an outline or plot you are using a jackhammer on a delicate fossil. He warns that what you excavate might not be intact or whole.

For now I'm taking the middle ground. I understand the value of the outline but also the value of discovering the story as I write. That's the magic of writing for me. There's a lot that is missing from my outline, but it's waiting there as I type away and uncover treasures: gleaming, untouched and new.

I have to remember, in my perfectionist nature, that it isn't the outline that matters, it's the end product.

hearts

2010-03-18T15:21:00.004+11:00

My name is Treeson. My body is a marshmallow, though sometimes it tastes like snow. I like my friends, I smile a lot. And I'm seldom bored.

I am Treeson, the son of trees.

- Treeson & Other Stories, Bubi Au Yeung

This is one my Treesons standing with his hearts in the snow :) I love this lil guy.

He reminds me of a Yeti.

Jestar x

egg

2010-03-10T10:10:00.000+11:00

giant yolk + poke = giant yolk river

YUM!

I must eat more breakfast.

Jestar x

angels

2010-03-07T14:46:00.005+11:00

Sonny Angels are the cutest things! Combine kewpie dolls, gorgeous themed hats, plump baby butts, tiny angel wings and I'm sold! ;)

Here are all the Angels I've collected so far from the 'Animals' series.

Jestar x

wordcount

2010-03-07T01:00:00.002+11:00

Stephen King is one of my favourite writers. I've been dipping into his fantastic book: On Writing: A Memoir. I think all writers should read it.

King poses: 'How much writing constitutes a lot?' and on the subject, recounts this story about James Joyce illustrating his point that of course it varies from writer to writer ;)

A friend visited James Joyce and found him sprawled across his writing desk, facedown, in a posture of utter despair.

'James, what's wrong?' the friend asked. 'Is it the work?'

Joyce replied, 'Of course it's the work; isn't it always?'

'How many words did you get today?'

Joyce still facedown in despair: 'Seven'

'Seven? But James...that's good, even for you!'

'Yes,' Joyce said, finally looking up. 'I suppose it is...but I don't know what order they go in!'

That story makes me feel better...and now procrastination and tiredness have caught up with me. It's time to go to bed.

Jestar x

ailing

2010-03-06T19:04:00.001+11:00

I'm feelin' these kinds of colours today...

qwerty

2010-03-06T01:28:00.002+11:00

The page is starved, stark white bones curve sharp and gleam in the baleful smile of Qwerty as he digs his fingers into your shoulders.

“Tomorrow,” he says, glancing at the expensive watch girdled around his slender wrist. “It’s late afternoon, nearly four. Don’t you have other things to do?”

You look back at the page standing naked and pathetic. Her voice is barely audible, a rasping whisper. “Give me some words…enough to clothe me…something meaty to chew on in this silent prison.”

In desperation, your fingers dance clumsily on the keys. Qwerty surveys your meagre efforts. “Muse hasn’t visited you in a while I see.”

“Oh shut up!” the page says, gobbling up your tasteless fare and smacking her wan lips. “Not juicy enough, but you’re getting there.”

Encouraged, your fingers dance on, more sure this time. The blurred images and ideas that crowd the dusty attic of your mind become focused and translate onto the page.

Qwerty fumes silently, but maintains his debonair stature. “You know,” he drawls, looking at his nails, “I would really love to find out what happens next in that book you’re reading about those twins. One of them was murdered in childbirth, but his eyes popped open before they took him away and there are those that can still hear him crying…” He looks at you, eyebrows arched.

Your fingers skid to a pause. Yes, that story, you think. Your mind settles back, puffing and wheezing, her plump body exerted beyond her capabilities. “Yes,” your mind agrees, “Let’s rest for a bit with that lovely story. I’ll exercise tomorrow.” Your mind is already drifting away on an adventure to another world and then dozes in summer drenched fields.

You look down at the keyboard. Now, the letters don’t make any sense. Qwerty most of all, looms nonsensical and confusing. The keys seem to bite you as you pound on them in frustration.

The house is silent, it is almost five and you have much more to do. Your eyes are watering from staring too long at the page, which is no longer naked, but has some meat to her bones and parades up and down in a rough patchwork dress that is starting to take shape. She smiles at you.

Your mind snaps to attention and you start again. As you write, Qwerty dwindles and fades, his excuses and temptations becoming fainter and fainter. He is defeated, at least for today, as you turn him into something worthwhile that makes sense.

roly poly

2010-03-04T00:19:00.005+11:00

My vintage miniature roly poly dolls. They are so cute and jolly :)

Jestar x

rules

2010-03-01T23:16:00.002+11:00

My writing mentor who I haven't heard from for a while...;) posted The Ten Rules of Fiction from various writers.

One writer, Esther Freud, wrote:

Cut out the metaphors and similes. In my first book I promised myself I wouldn't use any and I slipped up during a sunset in chapter 11. I still blush when I come across it.

One of the main strengths of my writing is my metaphor and similes especially because I'm a poetic writer and people who have read my writing support this strength, so it's disheartening when a published writer says to cut them out and that it's embarrassing to use them.

On the other hand, this is the first time I've come across this view (and this writer), on the contrary I've heard in the writing world that metaphor and similes should be used because they make writing that more textured and exciting. In the end, it all comes down to value judgment. What works for one person, might not work for the other and vice versa. I say to those writers out there, write what works for you and learn from your favourite writers who are undoubtedly writing in the same style you aspire to ;)

OK, I've given myself a little pep talk! That's right, be your own encourager. Writers do it so much on their own anyway!

The main rule of writing is that if you do it with enough assurance and confidence, you're allowed to do whatever you like. (That may be a rule for life as well as for writing. But it's definitely true for writing.) So write your story as it needs to be written. Write it honestly, and tell it as best you can. I'm not sure that there are any other rules. Not ones that matter.

Neil Gaiman

oyster

2010-02-27T23:25:00.006+11:00

"O Oysters," said the Carpenter,

"You've had a pleasant run!

Shall we be trotting home again?'

But answer came there none--

And this was scarcely odd, because

They'd eaten every one.

Lewis Carroll, The Walrus and the Carpenter

Jestar x

middle

2010-02-26T22:30:00.001+11:00

In the middle of the journey of life I came to myself within a dark wood where the straight way was lost. Ah, how hard it is to tell of that wood, savage and harsh and dense, the thought of which renews my fear. So bitter is it that death is hardly more.

- Dante Alighieri, The Inferno.

I am lost in that dark, dark wood. Middles suck. Does anyone have a light?

Jestar x

bukubuku

2010-02-24T01:43:00.003+11:00

If you want to make anything cute, just stick a little face on it. That's a kawaii feature! Bukubuku is a wonderful artist I found on Etsy who does it so well :) I feel like buying everything she lists in her store!

Ah, lots of kawaii goodness! :D

Jestar x

billy

2010-02-23T16:33:00.016+11:00

I came across Japanese Re-ment and Megahouse 1/6th scale miniatures a few years ago, and since then have become an avid collector. One of my favourite things to do besides just stare and admire the tiny details of these pieces is to set up little dioramas and take photos.

Billy, is my little teddybear person who has his own portfolio on my Flickr. He loves photo shoots so I indulge him when I can ;)

Billy

Billy hanging out with his Sheepish pal

There's nothing like lounging on your favourite sofa with your teddybear, a giant cookie-pop and a cupcake the size of your tummy :)

Jestar x

homework

2010-02-21T22:54:00.008+11:00

This is my homework for tomorrow's novel class. We had to write a story in first person and third person. Here is my first person version which worked better for this story.

Apple Pie

I’ve never been into old dames. The thought of their wrinkled, sagging skin and toothless grins makes me lose my appetite. I know they were young, fresh girls once. I wish I had known them then.

But this old dame was different. Age had ripened her like a fine wine and her cheeks bloomed a rosy red. She baked a lot and would leave cookies, cakes and pies cooling on the windowsill.

One evening I stole an apple pie. It was sweet and delicious. I could still taste the juiciness of the apple on my tongue the next day when I made an unexpected visit. I complimented the old dame on her pie. She reciprocated by giving me more pie. The old dame was very quiet, she didn’t say a word. It suited me fine because I am not one for conversation during visits, especially when I am eating. I never talk with my mouth full. Manners are important.

Afterwards, feeling very full, I rested in the old dame’s bed. There was a knock on the door. Rat-a-tat-tat!

“Who is it?” I called, my voice soft.

“It’s me, your granddaughter, Little Red Riding Hood, and I’ve brought you a bun and a little pot of butter that mummy has sent.’

‘Come in, Little Red Riding Hood,’ I answered.

I wondered if she tasted like her grandmother, sweet and delicious, like apple pie.

ghosts

2010-02-20T16:33:00.003+11:00

Time widens
An abyss of lost moments
Bridges break
Leaving us standing there
Ghosts
On the other side

kawaii

2010-02-18T22:50:00.008+11:00

I have a weakness for all things kawaii and small.
This is my tower of miniature steamed buns. How sweet are they?
No, you can't eat them! ;)

Jestar x

guitar

2010-02-18T19:14:00.011+11:00

Nintendo Wii is coming out with a zombie guitar hero type game called Rock of the Dead. Give me a magnum, rocket launcher or chainsaw and I'll kill them the traditional way, not with a guitar riff!

I think zombies deserve more respect than that! ;)

Jestar x

outside

2010-02-17T21:33:00.005+11:00

✪

It's so easy to turn off the lights, close all the windows, lock the door and huddle within yourself.

Sometimes you can get so stressed out and find it hard to focus on anything but your pain. Then you see all the problems of the world be it in a friend, or the tragedy in Haiti and the pain lessens. You allow yourself to smile and laugh at the antics of a child who still plays amongst the chaos and the pain lessens even more.

So open a window, breathe in some fresh air and realise that you are not alone.

Jestar x

again

2010-02-16T16:03:00.006+11:00

There's a comfort and familiarity in returning to something you've done before whether it's reading Fantastic Mr Fox by Roald Dahl for the 20th time or watching Gone With the Wind for the 50th time (yes these are two favourites and I usually watch Gone With the Wind twice a year ;)

Then there are the classes you'll redo, not because you've failed, but because it's an amazing class helmed by an encouraging and inspirational teacher.

I have had the privilege of doing a Novel class for the 3rd time and although I've heard most of the material before, which of course is to be expected, it is good to be reminded and it further strengthens and validates what you do.

This week's class looked at point of view and our teacher gave us a hilarious example that I just had to share! It's a little lengthy, but worth reading! :)

Jestar x

“Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” experiment offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix:

The professor told his class one day:

“Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me.

The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me.

The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.

Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.”

The following was actually turned in by two of his English students Rebecca and Gary:

THE STORY

(first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn’t decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favourite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Gary)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. “A.S. Harris to Geostation 17,” he said into his transgalactic communicator. “Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far…” But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship’s cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. “Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,” Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurried and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. “Why must one lose one’s innocence to become a woman?” she pondered wistfully.

(Gary)

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu’udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu’udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.

(Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary)

Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered, tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. “Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F–KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I’m such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!”

(Rebecca)

Asshole.

(Gary)

Bitch

(Rebecca)

F__K YOU – YOU NEANDERTHAL!

(Gary)

Go drink some tea – whore.

(TEACHER)

A+ – I really liked this one.

hi

2010-02-15T13:44:00.007+11:00

✪

Hi there :) Thanks for stopping by. I'm a writer working on a dark fantasy novel amongst the chaos of bringing up my two gorgeous boys who are currently napping all cherub-like. I love it when they nap ;)
This blog will meander between everything and nothing, much like Seinfeld, one of my favourite TV shows :D
But writing and other passions that include reading, films, video games, collecting beautiful and kawaii things such as miniatures and dolls will definitely make some appearances.

I hope you enjoy my musings...

Jestar x